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Tuesday, September 30, 2008
10:39 AM to the juniors, you all think u understand. so why not be in my shoe and try it? its not as easy as wat u think. yea, try hard and u'll get it. earn yourself a position? bullshit! how hard am i suppose to go for it? trian everyday? sorry, i have no time and life is short i dun wanna waste it on training for something which has no use after this 3 yrs of school. i would rather do something more practical something i would enjoy more. which i feel much much happier. isnt dat better? more worthwhile? training wif u all is fun sometimes. but most of the time it jus reminds me of how lousy i am in front of u all. i dun wanna go for something which i see no point in. try hard? so? wat can i get? seriously lah, at most jus 1 yr of competition. truth is i dun feel the bond wif u all. i feel outcasted whenever im wif u all. we're a team? no, u all are a team. i dun belong there. i dreaded every singe training. so wats the point of gg? shouldnt netball be something enjoyable? why does it seems lyk a torture to me now? every training is lyk a torture. im dreading the start of it and looking forward to the end. passion for netball?? sorry, i dun feel as passionate about it anymore. i use to love it in sec sch. where all my teamates are dere. jy, sm, sy, pq. i miss them i miss the old netball. where everything we do is fun. results is impt. but the process is even more precious isnt it? but i feel dat in nyp, results is the most impt thing. who cares about the fucking process? all u need is good players. and im not. so why should i be dere to drag the team down. to slow down the whole trng? im the lousiet in the team, and im sure u all feel dat too. jus dat u all dun say it out. to me, netball aint as impt as my dog, bf, family and work. ya, i would rather spend my time wif bf. and why? cause i feel happier! simple?! netball only makes me feel sad. so why should i sarcrifice something enjoyable for something torturous? tell me, would u rather chooose something more fun or something bad? so am i wrong? if so, wat wrong have i done? even if i quit netball, does it affect u all? no it doesnt, in fact its better isnt it? at least u all dunnid to care for my feelings and keep on cheering me up. im a burden to the team, to u all. the SIM match jus shows me how different i am from you all. seriously, are all of us really dat close? do we talk about other things beside netballl? so wats makes u think u understand me? understand wat im gg through? understand how i feel and wat i want? wat shihui say is true, im a loser. and i lyk to avoid the reality. i hate facing it. im quitting nyp netball. lets jus hope we still can remain as frens. |
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